Road to Somewhere

It is Thursday. I can tell, cause if I drag my pointer down to the clock in the corner, and leave it there for a second, the date pops up. I bet that is a much clearer statement and explanation than anything you will hear on television tonight. That is just my opinion, of course. If you do tune into Kerry and Bush, though, you better bring that large mug o' coffee.
Me? Oh, I'll be watching wrestling. Yes, I know its fake, but it is probably less staged than these debates.
On a different note, I talked to Cheri last night. We talked about the theme for the party next weekend. I eventually told her that, although Katherine Anne(Kas) has a bed reserved, it just happens to be the same one as me. Cheri laughed and said that she didn't think Kas would argue too much.
I hope not. Everyone deserves a little action on their birthday right? I mean its not gonna be exactly on my birthday, but it will only be a coupla days away. I remember when I had a huge bash at my Dad's for my 21st. When I was finally crawling into bed about dawn, Kelly, an old old old girlfriend crawled in with me. When I asked her about when she had said we should never be together again, she just laughed and said, "Its your birthday. Nobody should go to bed alone on their birthday,".

There's not a whole lot going for me day to day right now. I am just going to work and going home. I am saving up money and energy for what I expect to be quite an extravaganza in a coupla weeks. It is no fun not to write something here everyday, though. So, I thought I would look back on some things in my life that have shaped me up till now.
I went to high school in eastern Tennessee. Daniel Boone High School was a true country high school. Complete with agriculture, welding, and auto mechanics classes that were full way before trig or advanced literature. Our biggest rival was the cross-county high school, Davey Crockett. I couldn't make this up. Each year our schools would meet in a clash on the football field. The huge event was named The Musket Bowl. By my senior year, there was actually a musket that was displayed by the winner of the Musket Bowl. There in our cafeteria hung a muzzle loader gun to represent our dominance. Sweet.
I fell in love for the first time at the end of my senior year at DBHS. Her name was Heather, and she was dating my arch nemesis, Justin Alvis. Alvis was not the smartest guy on the block though, and he made the mistake of getting in a fight with her. Around that time Heather and her friend, Melissa, came over to smoke a joint one night. A week later Heather and I were known as a couple. That summer was the greatest summer of my life. Heather and I went skinny dipping, took long hikes, snuck wine out of her parents' basement, fell asleep together in the afternoon, and gave each other the kind of kisses goodnight that you only read about.
Then came college. I guess, I didn't see what I had as unique or special. I strayed. I called less. I thought every relationship would fit that well, be that easy. About the time I realized my folley, I heard the news from home. It was too late. Heather had begun to date Rusty Collins, and now she was pregnant. Marriage was soon to follow.
I still think about Heather. I imagine her taking her son to school now. I imagine what it would have been like. I will always love the Heather I knew, but she's gone now. Now she's a mother and a wife. God bless you Heather Dean.

Well, I am up early after a full night's rest on Saturday. Its kinda depressing, but I have a lot coming up, so, saving up some money and energy is probably best.
I had two tickets yesterday to go see the White Sox play the Royals in the last night game at Cominsky this year. I didn't really have anyone to go with though, so I gave them to Sarah and Rich. Later last night when I was walking back from the covenience store with my roommate, Mary Beth, I mentioned how much i wanted to see Yonder play the three nights coming up in October after I get back from the big party. She said it sounded fun. When we got back to the apartment she got onto the website and bought two three day passes to the shows. I couldn't believe it. My birthday month is just going to be chocked full of exciting times.
I borrowed Gabe's bike yesterday to go ride and get some coffee. That really felt good. It was probably my first time on a bike in a long long time. I think I'll go do it again right now. Meet me at Beans and Bagels? No? That's okay, you just sleep in.

I don't know why I never played a musical insturment. I did play the coronet in middle school band, but I hardly count that. I was probably just too lazy. I could always just put in a cd and hear things that would take me years of bleeding fingers to learn.
I came into work today and found the secratary crying. She has always been a real pain in my ass since I started working here. About two months ago, though, her fiancee(she's about 60) was hospitalized, and they found cancer. He is dying now, and she is hardly ever here. This morning, while weeping, she said something about how she can't believe that he could be so healthy one minute and dying the next. I really want to take back all the mean things I have said about her, and I hope this awful time passes as easily as possible.
In all this I found myself thinking how I need to buy a mandolin, and learn it now.

Last night went surprisingly well. I think Crash Davis was pretty well recieved. It probably helped that a nice portion of the audience were some of our friends, or at least our classmates. The topic that we got from the audience was "Jesus". So, we pretty much had a loaded topic.
Before the show, I went with Sarah to Biasetti's and hada huge t-bone, mashed potatoes, broccoli, and a ceasar salad. I was so friggin' happy. I don't remember the last time I had a steak. Granted, it wasn't as tasty as Stonewalls, but very pleasing none the less.
My big party is coming up in about two weeks now. I totally can't afford it now, but its already booked, and everyone seems pretty stoked about it. A party theme has been discussed and several options have come to the table. Mobster gets a mistrial, a pirate's dream, back to school, a rock star BBQ, and Vote Hot Tub Party '04!. I think I am leaning towrads the rock star BBQ. Pamela has been pretty insistent on me making a descion. Drew told her yesterday that the theme was going to be "Adam and Eve". She promptly called me to confirm. I just laughed and said, "No, Drew just wants to see you naked."

Tonight is my first performance with my new ImprovOlympic team, Crash Davis. I guess I am a little nervous about it, but not really. It's strange that something that brought so much passion to my life once, now seems kinda ho-hum. I still enjoy it, and I find it to be a great release. It is just not as exhilarating as it used to be. During my first few years of improving, I would come off the stage with a strong buzz that compared to cocaine. I would yak on for hours and be filled with energy. Now I could probably go to bed within thirty minutes. I guess I am hoping that its just a phase and the excitement returns. It is pretty disappointing that I feel this way after accomplishing a goal (being on the mainstage at IO) that I chased for the past few years.
I guess I can almost compare it to graduation. You get so worked up about it. Then after it does happen, its hard to believe that was what you were looking forward to. It seems so small and insignificant once it has passed.
When I tell my friends and family this they all mostly say, "So what do you want to do now?". To be honest, I just wanna smoke pot and follow around some of my favorite bands and sports teams. I am 25 and signifigantly in debt, so that may not be a very realistic or mature goal. Can anyone actually just do what they want to? I think that is a myth. Maybe life is one wonderful cycle of compromise and mediocrity, and I should just be happy with what I have going here.

Some say, youth is wasted on the young.
I say they are right,
that would make me part of the sum.
Some of all parts...

You are young,
and it may feel like
Its gonna last forever.
But I know, that you know that it won't.

Accept you fate,
before its too late,
while the pearly gates are ajar,
it may not be that far away.
So...

Celebrate your youth
jump in the river
Celebrate your youth
dive into the sea

Celebrate your youth,
don't wash away the yesterdays.
Celebrate your youth,
Pass it on to me...

Keller Williams, from Stage

There I said it. While I am at it, boo the Cubs too! That's right! I know if I stepped out my front door and said these things, I would receive a vicious beatdown. I may even become a victim of second degree murder. So, I generally keep my trap shut about my allegiances. After the Bears beat the Packers yesterday, though, I just can't hold back anymore. So here goes...
The Bears have absolutely no prestige in the NFL. I would venture to say that the Lions and Seahawks are more respected by the rest of the league and its players. But that is not the worst part. The worst part is that their fans are too stupid to notice. Were they distracted by the ugliest revamped stadium ever? Were they blinded from the sun reflecting off the aluminum siding on the new Soldier Field? If any pro team played like they did last year in NY, LA, Dallas, Miami, or even Minnesota, the fans would be livid. The Bears fans seem to be adjusted to loosing by the time the football season rolls around. Maybe yesterday's win is what this faltering organization needs to establish some credibility. My favor still lies with the only professional sports team to be owned by the community for which they play. Go Pack!
As far as the Cubs go, lets just say the only reason I would want them to get in, is so that that overgrown child in San Fran and his teammates don't get the opportunity. Other than that I would love to see the season end as abruptly as possible for the cubbies, so that these drunks will quit hanging out in front of my apartment.

I have been here in Chicago for way over a year now. I have met a few good friends in the improv community that I have been working in, but I still haven't found that one friend. At every other point in my life, I have had at least one really close friend. You know, they are the friend you call just to go grab a burger or gripe about your day. They are the friend that would go to any concert with you, even if they don't know the band, cause they like your taste. They are the friend that knows your worst trait, and maybe finds it endearing. It is not that I don't like spending time alone, because I am an only child and love to be by myself. It is just that sometimes I pick up my phone to call my friend and find myself scrolling past names looking for someone. Sometimes I stop and realize that I don't know who I am looking for. Othertimes I look through the whole list and think about how some of those people used to be that one friend.
Its not all terribly sad, though. I do have some old friends that I keep in contact with. We try to support each other like we used to, but things change. The people you knew are mutated, changed, and different. It is no one's fault. My old friends often console the old me; they say words of support that are like stale bread. Like the pigeons in the park, I do not complain. I swoop in and gobble them up. Beggars cannot be choosers.

My co-worker, Heather, just came back here and explained that she thinks her new black hoodie adds a touch of elegance to her outfits. I think we could all use a balck hoodie if that is the case. It seems no matter how much I dress up sometimes, I still don't feel any different. Maybe next time I will try a black hoodie over that silk shirt and tie.
So I have this big party planned for next month. Its gonna be pretty good. Lots of old friends and people who haven't seen each other in a long long time. At last year's party I was lucky enough to find myself alone with Katherine Anne. Something about her has always gotten me a little bothered, so I was very happy that I was finally able to get a little attention from her.
She's coming to the party again this year. I actually haven't seen her since the morning after my last party, when we all packed up and drove off in different directions. I am trying not to build anything up in my mind, but man I hope that can work out again this year. That would sure add a touch of elegance to my party.

It maybe that I saw the new director's cut of Donnie Darko twice now, or it may be the smurf pillow that I still sleep on, but I simply cannot eacape living in an eighties craze lately. It is hard for me to believe that 80's can really be retro already, but I guess I am that old. I do remember my dad laughing at me thinking the 70's were cool when I was partying in the 90's so I guess it is about time.
On a different note, I have almost completed the planning for the second annual JCHTP (J.C. hot tub party). This year we rented an even bigger cabin in the Mts. of NC. It should be beautiful. I think the leaves will be turning a little sooner this year, so lets just hope they are still beautiful colors during the second weekend in October.

Good morning to you too! 

Today is humid. I can't wait for fall to start. The ladies at jamba juice on Michigan Ave. gave me a huge stack of dollar off coupons for any size smoothie. It is too bad they expire at the end of the month. It was a nice gesture, though.
Last night I fell asleep before the end of the friggin Packers game. I hate that. They cut to commercial and I never come back. Oh well, I guess I needed the rest.